We have all been there, you are making your way through the produce section on a desperate search for the final pieces of some dinner you are throwing together at the last minute. Your hair is a mess, as usual, and make-up was nowhere near the top of your to-do list today. Because this is real life and not a romantic comedy you are wearing the only pair of jeans that don't have something wiped on them by baby hands and a shirt that wasn't as lucky. You reach for the last onion and turn to escape the craziness that is the store and head back to the craziness that is home.
That's when it happens. Like hitting a brick wall you run into "THEM". ("THEM" is a role that can be filled by a few different people. The bitchy cheerleader from highschool who always looked like she had a team of professionals prepping her for her appearance in home-room and now has a successful modeling career. The nerdy kid nobody admitted talking to because your social status would drop miles per minute. He has a REALLY lucrative job with microsoft. Or heaven forbid, the worst of the worst, that jock that ditched you at homecoming.)
The following conversation always follows:
Kayleigh:(Smiling as if she is totally glad to see you) "Hi ______! It's been forever! How are things?"
THEM: "I know! We haven't talked since high school! I am doing REALLY great. I ______ (fill in the amazing life story and experiences.) What about you?"
Kayleigh: "Oh you know, just working and 'living life'."
The conversation ends. You exchange numbers and promise to talk soon. You go home to the craziness and realize you forgot the dang onion!
Living life. That phrase has started to haunt me recently. What does it mean exactly? I know I am living. I have a pulse. I breathe. But other than that it all just sort of blends together doesn't it? The living gets lost in the shuffle. I don't think that will do any longer. I want to wake up every morning glad to be living. I want to feel all the beautiful things this life has to offer me.
And so the journey begins. . . .
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I think we all go through that fear walking through the Walmart or Smith's near our High School (those of you who still live there, anyway).
ReplyDeleteHonestly, who cares if the bitchy cheerleader has a successful modeling career or the nerd works for Microsoft? And the "jock"? Not even worth your time. You ARE living your life, Kay. You're going through what we ALL go through. You're not living your life as you expected to when you were younger and making plans for the future. Shit, my future involved going to some 4 year University, marrying a wealthy, attractive and witty returned missionary, having some kids and moving to the "east side". Instead, I got cancer at 19, had a baby at 20, went through debilitating depression and anxiety, moved across the country because I couldn't deal with the depression and anxiety and I'm still raising this little person on my own. I wouldn't change it for anything.
You have two beautiful little girls who are healthy, happy and light up your life. You have your health, a steady income (even if you dislike your job most days. Hell, who doesn't?), a roof over your head and awesome friends around you that would do almost anything for you. Don't look at what others have and be envious. You never know who's looking at you and wishing they had your life. You're doing great so far. Keep taking it one day at a time and sooner or later you'll look back and realize that you were living life; you just didn't realize it.
What Ashley said! :) I can totally relate to your feelings. I do my best to avoid those people. At times I am envious of your life.
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